A professional athlete who makes beaucoup de buckos, AND who appears to behave like a decent human being!!!
Teixeira Honors a Cancer Patient
Hmmmmm. We've found ONE. Let's hunt for some more.......
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
TigerPhilGoodEvilOMGWhatShouldIThink
Please.
Stop.
I don't care.
I don't care how many waitresses Tiger boinked. Or what his wife is thinking, or feeling, or how she's dealing with it. I don't care if he really is a sex addict or not.
I don't care if Phil is A Good Guy or not. He could be a flamingly bad tipper for all I know.
These guys have nothing to do with the price of gas or eggs..... they are simply *yawn*able B storylines for Perez and TMZ at this point.... yet they led each evening newscast for nearly a week. Really?
What I do know is that when you make an astoundingly huge amount of money for chasing a teensy ball around the yards, you gots to take the bad with the good. Do I have the right to judge your personal life? Yes, yes I do. You chose your lifestyle, your endorsements, your interviews, and your career.... fully knowing that professional athletics is a branch off Ye Olde Entertainment Tree. All the perks and pitfalls which apply to Brangelina & Co also apply to Mr. Famous Golfer, Mr. Famous Quarterback (Big Ben, please pick up a white courtesy phone, your tenuous future is on line 2) and Mr. Famous ESPN Anchorman. There's no Magic Wall between the cinematic red carpet and the ESPYs red carpet....... if anything, professional athletes have aimed to become perceived as MORE comparable to their sweat-phobic funtime counterparts, not less.
Get a grip, get a brain, quit your whining, clean up your paper trail and please come to terms with your job description....... every contract is at-will, and the Price of Celebrity is clearly delineated in clause A(ii) a.k.a. the Paparazzi Clause, and clause B(iii-a), a.k.a. the Insanely High Compensation for Relatively Low Public Necessity. If you come up with a cure for HIV/AIDS, or a home-run in cancer treatment, or a fix for across-the-board literacy, you might be deserving of your meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellions of dollars.
But you currently chase a ball around the yard. In front of people. Like a labradoodle. So shut up and zip up.
Stop.
I don't care.
I don't care how many waitresses Tiger boinked. Or what his wife is thinking, or feeling, or how she's dealing with it. I don't care if he really is a sex addict or not.
I don't care if Phil is A Good Guy or not. He could be a flamingly bad tipper for all I know.
These guys have nothing to do with the price of gas or eggs..... they are simply *yawn*able B storylines for Perez and TMZ at this point.... yet they led each evening newscast for nearly a week. Really?
What I do know is that when you make an astoundingly huge amount of money for chasing a teensy ball around the yards, you gots to take the bad with the good. Do I have the right to judge your personal life? Yes, yes I do. You chose your lifestyle, your endorsements, your interviews, and your career.... fully knowing that professional athletics is a branch off Ye Olde Entertainment Tree. All the perks and pitfalls which apply to Brangelina & Co also apply to Mr. Famous Golfer, Mr. Famous Quarterback (Big Ben, please pick up a white courtesy phone, your tenuous future is on line 2) and Mr. Famous ESPN Anchorman. There's no Magic Wall between the cinematic red carpet and the ESPYs red carpet....... if anything, professional athletes have aimed to become perceived as MORE comparable to their sweat-phobic funtime counterparts, not less.
Get a grip, get a brain, quit your whining, clean up your paper trail and please come to terms with your job description....... every contract is at-will, and the Price of Celebrity is clearly delineated in clause A(ii) a.k.a. the Paparazzi Clause, and clause B(iii-a), a.k.a. the Insanely High Compensation for Relatively Low Public Necessity. If you come up with a cure for HIV/AIDS, or a home-run in cancer treatment, or a fix for across-the-board literacy, you might be deserving of your meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellions of dollars.
But you currently chase a ball around the yard. In front of people. Like a labradoodle. So shut up and zip up.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
That's Messed Up
We awoke to this
this morning. Apparently some Doofus was trying to avoid this ittybitty speedbump:
by swerving into our driveway and taking the bump on 2 wheels. Nice shot, jerkoff.
I think when we repair the box, we might have to add a little extra incentive to stay on the road:
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
this morning. Apparently some Doofus was trying to avoid this ittybitty speedbump:
by swerving into our driveway and taking the bump on 2 wheels. Nice shot, jerkoff.
I think when we repair the box, we might have to add a little extra incentive to stay on the road:
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Ask Questions - Make Mistakes - Get MESSY!!
From our Friends at Homeschool Happenings:
52 Totally Awesome Science Experiments
And once you get THOSE mastered, maybe you can go work for Uncle Sam, devising questionable foodstuffs for the masses:
US Gov't Creates Lowfat Cake and Frosting
I love the science behind it, but man, I hope it tastes better than fat free cheese.
52 Totally Awesome Science Experiments
And once you get THOSE mastered, maybe you can go work for Uncle Sam, devising questionable foodstuffs for the masses:
US Gov't Creates Lowfat Cake and Frosting
I love the science behind it, but man, I hope it tastes better than fat free cheese.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Donovan McNabb traded to Redskins - Washington Times
I believe I had that.
Donovan McNabb traded to Redskins - Washington Times
So I guess this is a re-building year.
But you know who REALLY got hosed? Jason Campbell.
You stay Klassy, Dan Snyder. Meh.
Donovan McNabb traded to Redskins - Washington Times
So I guess this is a re-building year.
But you know who REALLY got hosed? Jason Campbell.
You stay Klassy, Dan Snyder. Meh.
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Take my husband, PLEASE!
No, I'm not searching for a Big Love - style tag team partner. I'm searching for a JOB, a position of full time EMPLOYMENT, some sort of Bring Home Dee Bacon On a Regular Basis Occupation for my Main Squeeze.
Charles is a casualty of the massive lay-off design of AstraZeneca (motto: "We don't need no steeenkeeeeng research!") in its plan to ditch the "R" of R&D. Considering the American Big Pharma trend in abandoning in-house research in favor of buying up smaller shops, he is ready to try a new industry.
Big Oil? Are you listening?
Corporate Farm, Inc? We're talkin' to YOU too!
We'll go anywhere, relo is not a prob, Bob!!
What's that? You say you're a Hiring Manager, in search of (or, "ISO," I think the kids are saying) an NMR spectroscopist with 11 years of industrial experience and the all-important Ph.D.? You say you need this person to have an eerie MacGyver-way of solving problems and producing results? Oh, and this applicant should speaky de THREE languages fluently? And not require visa sponsorship? And be eligible to work ANYWHERE in these United States of America?
DING DING DING!!!! We have a winner!
May I present to you, The Dr. Charles Babu. NMR Spectroscopist to the Stars. Analytical Chemist Extraordinaire. The Gandhi of Linux, The Guru of Handyman Repairs.
He can build a laptop with a check-book cover, a hairpin, and a Barbie shoe. And it'll be faster than that pc mess you're working on right now. And that's just his HOBBY. Imagine what he could do with your million dollar lab!!
He'll mentor your interns and educate your Six Sigma team with efficiencies you've only read about in Stephen Hawking's inkblot interpretations. And he won't even call a MEETING to do it........ he'll just transfer whatever you need to know via....
wait for it.......... are you sitting down?
Direct Communication.
*GASP*
I'll give you a minute to catch your breath.
If you have a question, he'll have an ANSWER. He won't chitterchat about accountability or question your motives. He won't call a meeting, form a steering committee or create a powerpoint reproduction of the matter (unless you want one). He'll just pinpoint the issue, and announce "Well, THERE'S your problem!"
And then he'll fix it. Just like he fixed my fridge, washer, dryer, Honda Civic, Honda Accord, garbage disposal and electrical outlets, all in the last few months. He won't procrastinate and he WILL read the directions!!
So your warranties will remain intact.
How many times have you looked at that test tube of The Next Billion Dollar Product, shaken your head, squinted at the spectrum and said to yourself, "Great, but what the hell is that OTHER stuff? We can't put that in a pill! Especially not knowing what it IS!"
He'll find your impurities, tell you what they are, if they matter and how to get RID of them. Funky solvent? Odd precipitate? Curious color? Charles to the rescue!
You say you need a paper trail, huh? You've got "authorities" and "regulations" and "compliance issues?" You need your procedures VALIDATED? Charles is all over GLP/GMP like white. on. rice. Your Regulatory Team will feel like they've had a Spa Day upon inspecting Charles' reports and lab. "Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."
Call now! Operators are standing by.
Charles is a casualty of the massive lay-off design of AstraZeneca (motto: "We don't need no steeenkeeeeng research!") in its plan to ditch the "R" of R&D. Considering the American Big Pharma trend in abandoning in-house research in favor of buying up smaller shops, he is ready to try a new industry.
Big Oil? Are you listening?
Corporate Farm, Inc? We're talkin' to YOU too!
We'll go anywhere, relo is not a prob, Bob!!
What's that? You say you're a Hiring Manager, in search of (or, "ISO," I think the kids are saying) an NMR spectroscopist with 11 years of industrial experience and the all-important Ph.D.? You say you need this person to have an eerie MacGyver-way of solving problems and producing results? Oh, and this applicant should speaky de THREE languages fluently? And not require visa sponsorship? And be eligible to work ANYWHERE in these United States of America?
DING DING DING!!!! We have a winner!
May I present to you, The Dr. Charles Babu. NMR Spectroscopist to the Stars. Analytical Chemist Extraordinaire. The Gandhi of Linux, The Guru of Handyman Repairs.
He can build a laptop with a check-book cover, a hairpin, and a Barbie shoe. And it'll be faster than that pc mess you're working on right now. And that's just his HOBBY. Imagine what he could do with your million dollar lab!!
He'll mentor your interns and educate your Six Sigma team with efficiencies you've only read about in Stephen Hawking's inkblot interpretations. And he won't even call a MEETING to do it........ he'll just transfer whatever you need to know via....
wait for it.......... are you sitting down?
Direct Communication.
*GASP*
I'll give you a minute to catch your breath.
If you have a question, he'll have an ANSWER. He won't chitterchat about accountability or question your motives. He won't call a meeting, form a steering committee or create a powerpoint reproduction of the matter (unless you want one). He'll just pinpoint the issue, and announce "Well, THERE'S your problem!"
And then he'll fix it. Just like he fixed my fridge, washer, dryer, Honda Civic, Honda Accord, garbage disposal and electrical outlets, all in the last few months. He won't procrastinate and he WILL read the directions!!
So your warranties will remain intact.
How many times have you looked at that test tube of The Next Billion Dollar Product, shaken your head, squinted at the spectrum and said to yourself, "Great, but what the hell is that OTHER stuff? We can't put that in a pill! Especially not knowing what it IS!"
He'll find your impurities, tell you what they are, if they matter and how to get RID of them. Funky solvent? Odd precipitate? Curious color? Charles to the rescue!
You say you need a paper trail, huh? You've got "authorities" and "regulations" and "compliance issues?" You need your procedures VALIDATED? Charles is all over GLP/GMP like white. on. rice. Your Regulatory Team will feel like they've had a Spa Day upon inspecting Charles' reports and lab. "Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."
Call now! Operators are standing by.
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