Monday, November 29, 2010

Mileage. Lots of It.

Well, HELLOOO, there, Party Peeps!
I'm happy to report we are now 50% employed (again) after swiftly averting a massive layoff with a pre-emptive Screw You, I QUIT! stroke of luck.

Then there was the whole Sell This House debacle, whence we sold our house, after putting another 3k into it, on top of the several k (K!) we had in it, at a deep, deep (SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!) deep discount.


My actual children, clearly unsure about this whole impending 3 day car trip thing.

Husband shakes his head. "I cannot believe we took such a hit. We should have stayed and taken our chances."

Wife. "Don't be ridonkeylous. You found a job. At a time like this. When you've already been looking for two (plus!) years? (SHH)."

So we pull up stakes and move a scant 1500ish miles from the east coast to Fort Worth. In Texas. A lovely little apartment in a complex the size of Toledo. Plenty of parking. Fresh air. Sunshine. Heat. It was averaging 105*F the week the Husband landed at DFW. But it's a dry heat. Which is BS when you figure, ok, bake your lungs, as opposed to steaming them? Still renders them useless. But I digress.

A mere five weeks later, after two separately failed lease deals, we found a house to rent, in lieu of finding a house to buy. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, Corporate America, don't think you can pull a fast one like that on us again! No, siree, we have learned our lesson. The next house we buy will have wheels on the bottom and an average mpg of hopefully at least 12. Maybe some nice spinnerzzzzz.


Renting is actually a great thing. Frees up a LOT of time. Oven broke? No prob, bob, call the landlord. Paint chipping? Ehhh, not my re-sale value, not my problem. In fact, I had so much time, I wrote an entirely new novel in the month of November and became a NaNoWriMo Stud-ette!



Our rental home is located in Arlington, home to the Texas Rangers, the Dallas Mavericks, the Dallas Cowboys, and Six Flags and a shopping mall which contains its own ICE ARENA. The commute is..... negotiable. Some days, the Husband negotiates for 15 minutes. Other days, it's more like 15 hours. Depends on who's flying off the overpasses on the south side of Fort Worth, and how many innocent bystanders go for a free wide.



Now that I've set the scene, (hot, dry, sunny), let's chat Culture Shock. We have been asked many times (usually right after, "And where exactly is Delaware, again?") if we have encountered any Culture Shock since we arrived here in The Great State of TEXAS(!). While we tend to be even-tempered, kinda zen, fairly un-hype-able, we have noticed some visible differences between the culture of the east coast, where we've resided somewhere along I-95 for the last ten years, and our soft landing out here in the.... um... Great State of TEXAS(!).

1. Texans really do talk funny. And drive big vehicles. But really, that's not much different from Jersey.

2. It's hot. But it's a dry heat. Which is great in November! And is also great for when your easy-bake oven dies a horrible death in July.



3. Texas is a freaking big place with freaking big space. Delaware is like the keyhole to the east coast. Texas is the Enormous Pearly Gates to the Southwest (aka where Old People go to die now that Florida is full).

3A. We were looking at a home for sale with our realtor, and we noted the convenience to the grocery store, which was just across the street. I said, "HEY! How conveeeenient! I could just walk to the store!" Realtor looked at me like I had two heads. Not a lot of local walky errands going on here. Which is great for the pavement-maker-people.



4. Civic Pride. Texans LOVE TEXAS!!! "Well, of course you moved to Texas, sweetheart, why wouldn't you?" exclaimed the DMV lady to yours truly. This is NOT a place from which most people leave/escape/flee. People come to Texas of their own free will, for jobs, school, liberty from snow that buries them to their ears annually. I have not, in my four other American states of residence, encountered an ex-pat Texan, unless they were military. I get the vibe that, wall-fence or not, Texans see Texas as their own country, whether or not You People recognize it.



5. It's not as bad as non-Texans might think. *wink* (Legal Caveat: DFW area only)
Texas has a general reputation (among non-Texans) for being full of truck-drivin', gun-totin', racist, ignorant, in-bred, redneck, close-minded, non-soccer playing (GASP) Bible-bangers. As a mixed-race family, I'll admit, I shuddered and worried about my dramatic, sensitive male children's well-being. But, the economy being what it is, you got to take chances and get messy. I'm happy to report that not one person has looked at us funny, we've not overheard one hateful comment, no one has attempted to evangelize us even once. (PHEW!) To the contrary, one of Fort Worth's own city councilmen jumped on the It Gets Better Bandwagon:

Now, whatever your own stance on the movement, you have to admit, to see this video originate deep in the northern heart of Texas stabs the POOF! out of a lot of the overblown balloony stereotypes.

So, to sum up: Texas (so far) is not as scary, socially speaking, as we were afraid it might be. It's hot. It requires plenty of gasoline to get from Point A to Point B. You can homeschool without the government so much as batting an eye at you (non-homeschoolers have no idea what a HUGE PLUS this is! Trust me, it's a HUGE PLUS!) I have not actually seen anyone carrying a gun in a public place (yet), although I have seen plenty of signs restricting firearms on, say, the playground.

This is the actual sign from our local playground. I guess it's good to have The Rules spelled out so there are no ..... misunderstandings?

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